Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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