Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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