I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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