I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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