We won't sleep together?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
