You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
