i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
