Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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