Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
