He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the day after is always just damage control
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
