Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
