I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
