please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
