Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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