is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
