Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
