I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
