How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
