I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
