What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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