whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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