2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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