she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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