I am spending my child support on dildos
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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