I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The best revenge is premature balding
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
