My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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