I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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