It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
