he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
