He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
