i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
