i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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