hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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