oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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