So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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