A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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