when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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