therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
