so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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