i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize