i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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