It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
