If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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