I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
