Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
