Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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