He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
