it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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