so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
