do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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