he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
