Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize