we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
