I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize