She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
