I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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