Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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