Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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