Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
