I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
