PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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