I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
