I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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