My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
