These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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