He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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