If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
