1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
