i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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